Before You Say ‘I Do’: 7 Things Premarital Counseling Can Help You Navigate
So, you’re engaged! Cue the champagne, Pinterest boards, and endless talk about color palettes and cake tastings.
But while you’re dreaming of the big day, let’s talk about something equally (if not more) important: the marriage itself.
Enter: premarital counseling.
We know—it doesn’t sound nearly as romantic as choosing your first dance song. But here’s the truth: premarital counseling is one of the best things you can do to prepare for your life together.
Think of it as a relationship training camp. It gives you a safe space to explore key topics, strengthen communication, and get ahead of the “stuff” that trips up so many couples after the honeymoon fades.
You’re not signing up because something is wrong—you’re signing up because you want to do this thing right.
Let’s break down what premarital counseling actually looks like, what it costs, and the seven big things it can help you and your partner navigate before the rings go on.
What Happens in Premarital Counseling?
First things first: what’s actually going on in these sessions?
Premarital counseling is a type of therapy focused on helping couples build a strong foundation before marriage. It’s usually led by a licensed therapist, counselor, or sometimes a faith-based leader trained in relationship dynamics.
In these sessions, you’ll:
Talk about your relationship history and shared goals
Explore communication styles and conflict patterns
Unpack your values around money, sex, family, and future plans
Learn tools to manage disagreements in healthy ways
Identify potential trouble spots before they become full-blown issues
You’ll laugh. You’ll learn. You may get a little uncomfortable (in a good, “we’re-growing” kind of way). And you’ll walk away with more clarity, confidence, and connection.
The vibe? Less “couples therapy” and more “love bootcamp.”
But don’t worry—it’s not all heavy stuff. It can be fun, eye-opening, and even a little romantic. You’ll leave understanding each other in a way that sets your relationship up for long-term success.
"Each session was well-directed, filled with clear and insightful examples, yet open enough to encourage genuine communication. My partner and I feel that this process was instrumental in approaching marriage in this day and age with dignity and intent."
How Much Does Pre-Marriage Counseling Cost?
Let’s talk money, because planning a wedding isn’t exactly cheap—and you might be wondering where premarital counseling fits into the budget.
The cost varies depending on your location, the provider’s qualifications, and the format (private sessions vs. group classes). On average, you can expect:
Private sessions: $100–$250 per hour
Packages: Some therapists offer premarital packages—like 4–8 sessions for a flat fee ($400–$2,000+)
Workshops or group classes: Usually lower-cost or donation-based if offered by a community or religious organization
If you’re going the religious route (with a pastor, priest, or spiritual leader), premarital counseling may be free or included as part of your marriage prep. However, the focus of premarital counseling in these settings will likely be more spiritually directed than psychologically driven.
And here’s a bonus: some states offer a discount on your marriage license if you complete certified premarital counseling. At Healthy Minds NYC, you can get a premarital counseling certificate for completion of our program to share with your marriage licensing body.
So yes—this love tune-up can actually save you money in the long run.
What Questions Are Asked in Premarital Counseling?
Don’t worry—this isn’t a pop quiz. But you will be asked thoughtful questions designed to help you both dig a little deeper and explore important topics.
Here are some common areas covered in premarital counseling:
1. Communication
How do you handle conflict?
What does a “healthy” argument look like to you?
Do you feel heard and understood?
2. Finances
What are your spending/saving habits?
Do you believe in joint or separate accounts?
What are your financial goals?
3. Intimacy + Sex
What does physical intimacy mean to each of you?
How do you express love and affection?
Are there unspoken needs or fears?
4. Family + Children
Do you both want kids? If so, how many and when?
What kind of parenting styles do you envision?
How involved will extended family be?
5. Roles + Responsibilities
Who handles what at home?
Are expectations clearly communicated?
What do you need from each other to feel supported?
6. Future Vision
Where do you see yourselves in 5, 10, 20 years?
How do you handle change and transitions?
What are your shared dreams?
These aren’t just hypothetical questions—they’re real-life conversations that will absolutely come up once you’re married.
Talking about them now, in a supportive space, sets you both up for smoother sailing ahead. And, walking through these questions with a trained professional, rather than trying to have these conversations at home alone over dinner, means you’ll get real-time feedback on what’s healthy and guidance on blindspots you’re likely to miss on the road to marriage.
"We were able to learn more about ourselves and each other resulting in us being better people and partners."
How Long Is Most Premarital Counseling?
There’s no set number of sessions, but most premarital counseling programs last between 4 and 8 sessions, depending on your needs and what you want to cover. At Healthy Minds NYC, we offer a 4-session Marriage Prep Program with the option to add additional sessions if desired. Our program also includes access to an online relationship assessment so you get a comprehensive perspective of where you’re strong and which tools you could use to draw you two closer together.
Some couples are ready to dive deep, while others just want to check in and make sure they’re aligned. Either way, there’s flexibility. You might meet weekly, biweekly, or even attend a one-day intensive or weekend workshop.
The timeline is usually short-term and solution-focused, making it super manageable—even with your wedding to-do list bursting at the seams.
And if you finish and decide you want to keep going (because you love how strong your relationship is becoming), that’s totally allowed too.
Some couples keep up with occasional check-ins even after marriage—like preventative care for your partnership.
7 Things Premarital Counseling Can Help You Navigate
Now for the juicy stuff—what are the real benefits of doing this work before you say “I do”?
1. Communication Styles
You learn how to truly listen and speak your truth without turning every disagreement into a battle. It’s not just “talking”—it’s connecting.
2. Conflict Resolution
Because, yes, you will argue. Premarital counseling helps you fight fair, avoid blame, and get to the root of the issue—together.
3. Money Talks
Let’s be real: money can be a minefield. Counseling helps you unpack your financial beliefs, align your goals, and avoid resentment down the road.
4. Sex + Intimacy
It’s not just about the physical. You’ll explore emotional intimacy, unmet needs, and ways to stay connected as your relationship evolves.
5. Family Dynamics
In-laws, traditions, boundaries—oh my! Premarital counseling helps you set the tone for how you’ll handle extended family stuff as a united front.
6. Expectations + Roles
You’ll uncover any silent assumptions about who does what, how you’ll divide responsibilities, and what “support” really looks like for each of you.
7. Long-Term Vision
You’re not just planning a wedding—you’re building a life. This process helps align your dreams, values, and goals so you move into marriage with purpose.
"Chanel was incredible to work with during the Marriage Prep Program. She created a safe and supportive space for us to openly discuss the key aspects of a healthy marriage. Her ability to truly understand both of us made the experience feel really meaningful."
Final Thoughts: Premarital Counseling Is an Act of Love (Not a Red Flag)
Let’s normalize this: going to premarital counseling doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed or broken. It means you care. It means you want to enter this next chapter with eyes wide open, hearts connected, and tools in your pocket.
It’s not about predicting problems—it’s about preparing for them. Because life will bring stress, change, and the occasional curveball. But when you’ve done the work together? You’ll feel ready.
You’re not just building a wedding. You’re building a marriage. And premarital counseling can be one of the most beautiful gifts you give each other along the way.
So take a deep breath. Book the session. And start your forever with confidence, clarity, and connection.
You’ve got this. And we’ve got your back.
To get started with the Marriage Prep Program at Healthy Minds NYC, schedule a free consultation call with our Care Coordinator so you can meet with our 5-star relationship expert and establish a strong foundation for a lifetime of love.
